Im fine.. thanks
Mafia
Mistake
Pole Placement
Made In Japan
McHammed's
McHammed's
Thursday 31 May 2007
Tuesday 22 May 2007
free mammogram
Dinner Etiquette
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
Monday 14 May 2007
Friday 11 May 2007
Sleeping Well
We don't usually need to think very much about our sleep - it's just a part of life that we take for granted. When we can't sleep, though, it can be a real problem. In fact, most of us will find it hard to sleep at some point in our lives. We have a word for it - insomnia. It's often just for a short time, perhaps when we're worried or excited. After a few days, things settle down and we get back to sleeping normally. However, we need sleep to keep our minds and bodies healthy. If we carry on sleeping badly, we start to notice the effects.
What is sleep?
Sleep is the regular period in every 24 hours when we are unconscious and unaware of our surroundings. There are two main types of sleep:
*
Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep
It comes and goes throughout the night, and makes up about one fifth of our sleep time. During REM sleep, our brain is very active, our muscles are very relaxed, our eyes move quickly from side to side and we dream.
*
Non-REM sleep
The brain is quiet, but the body may move around. Hormones are released into the bloodstream and our body repairs itself after the wear and tear of the day. There are 4 stages of non-REM sleep:
1. The muscles relax, the heart beats slower and body temperature falls - "pre-sleep".
2. Light sleep - we can still be woken easily without feeling confused.
3. "Slow wave" sleep - our blood pressure falls, we may talk in our sleep or sleep walk.
4. Deep "slow wave" sleep - we become very hard to wake. If we are woken, we feel confused.
We move between REM and non-REM sleep about five times throughout the night, dreaming more as we get toward the morning.
During a normal night, we will also have short periods of waking. These last 1 or 2 minutes and happen every 2 hours or so. We aren't usually aware of them. We are more likely to remember them if we feel anxious or there is something else going on - noises outside, our partner snoring etc.
How much sleep do we need?
Nine months and after
This depends mainly on how old we are.
* Babies sleep for about 17 hours each day.
* Older children only need 9 or 10 hours a night.
* Most adults need around 7-8 hours sleep each night.
* Older people need the same amount of sleep, but will often only have one period of deep sleep during the night, usually in the first 3 or 4 hours, after which they wake more easily. We also tend to dream less as we get older.
There are also differences between people of the same age. Most of us need 7-8 hours a night, but some (a few) people can get by with only 3 hours a night. It's not helpful to regularly sleep more than 7-8 hours each night.
The short periods of being awake feel much longer than they really are. So it's easy to feel that we are not sleeping as much as we actually are.
Thursday 10 May 2007
Your Creative Future
Not In Use
A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, he stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave, I want you to know how this all came about. Driving down the highway I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled, so I stopped, and brought her home.
Then I made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten in the refridgerator.
She had some old worn out sandals on her feet so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they'd gone out of style.
She was cold so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday that you never wore because the colour didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for you now.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?'"
Tuesday 8 May 2007
Greek Dating Flowchart
ok, you won
spooge
anatomically correct toys
Dinner Etiquette
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
Friday 4 May 2007
Death wish
death wish
dirty wife
priceless car
rocket-bus
Scottish Kilt
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whisky at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.
As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.
Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.
Several minutes later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt...and saw where the blue ribbon was tied. After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said...
"I don't wanna know where y'been lad...but it's nice ta'know y'won first prize!"
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